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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?